Today was a huge reminder of my happiness stumbling block– it would have been our third anniversary. I’ve learned that emotions are odd and unpredictable things. I didn’t shed a tear today, but at a random moment for what will seem like no reason I will fall apart.
Today was also a good reminder of why I’m on this journey to improve my happiness and also a moment to reflect on how far I’ve come. Yes, I still get sad and angry at times, but those feelings seem to happen less often and less intensely. I’m also grateful that this would have been our third anniversary and not our thirtieth, although we did spend six years before that together. I tell myself that it could have been worse. Did I fantasize about him reaching out on our anniversary and telling me what he did was the worst mistake of his life? Of course, but not because I want him back in my life, more of a childish I told you so reason. (Probably not the best reason, but I’d say better than wanting someone back that treated me poorly).
Instead of spending the day wallowing in self-pity, or worse, sending my own email reminding him of his broken commitment, I got up early and took the dog for a walk at a park, then spent the day with a good friend and got home late to find my new camera waiting for me. I may have used these activities to keep me distracted and perhaps I should spend some time reflecting on my emotions, but the fact that I don’t feel devastated today I’ll take as a win.
Anyway, back to this happiness journey. After coming up with a list of goals last month, this month I’m focusing on activities that engage. These are activities that you get completely focused on and nothing else matters. Having these kinds of activities increases feelings of happiness, well-being and goal accomplishment. This week my goal is to notice what activities I get engrossed in.